Love that Never Dies

My grief is new
yet
ancient

Only ten calendar months
from diagnosis
to
slipping away
beyond the veil
felt all too short
yet
this grief feels old
with a patina
of wear
still
tearing at my being
like old tissue paper
found in a gift bag you made
full of trinkets
and
chocolates
overflowing more with love
that I know remains
residing in my soul
and
in the lives that you touched
with kindness
and
care
more for others
than yourself

I struggle to reconcile
this old grief
with
its new holes
that make my eyes water
like the sting of biting your cheek
Wanting to call out
exclaim my pain
but
I know you are not there
to answer my call
or
text
Remembering yours
full of icons
to say the million words
of love
that would take too long to type
perhaps
realizing the limited time
that we had
even before cancer came to claim
your body
unable to clench your soul
destined for more
to see those before
to feel an eternal embrace of peace
and
love
that never dies
be it here or there
wherever you may be
gracing the heavens
or
keeping a watchful eye over me
and
everybody
as you always wanted to see us
oh so happy.

My grief is new.
My grief is ancient.
My grief is here because you’re not.